THE WILLING WOMAN: EVERYBODY WANTS RECOVERY, BUT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THE WORK?

THE WILLING WOMAN: EVERYBODY WANTS RECOVERY, BUT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THE WORK?

ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED? TIRED OF STARTING OVER? TIRED OF BEING SOBER FOR A LITTLE WHILE ONLY TO FIND YOURSELF RIGHT BACK WHERE YOU STARTED?

What if the very thing keeping you stuck isn't just the alcohol, but your unwillingness to change the life you've built around it?

I know that place. I lived there for TEN YEARS.

And that's why I'm writing this.

I get asked quite often to sponsor women.

Many tell me they want what I have. They see my joy, my freedom, my peace, my life today. But here's what I've discovered.

Many want what I have, but they're not always willing to do what I do to keep it.

And that begins with DISCIPLINE.

Our AA Big Book reminds us that we are undisciplined. Yet how many of us are willing to admit that?

We complain that we're not happy, joyous, and free, but are we actually practicing the principles that help us live that way?

I know this woman because I WAS HER.

I ENJOYED social drinking! I enjoyed going out, having fun, being around people, and having a good time.

Until slowly, almost without realizing it, things began to change.

I started canceling appointments. Not keeping my word. Breaking commitments I had made to myself and others.

What began as drinking on a Friday night eventually turned into drinking for THREE DAYS IN A ROW.

And here's something I didn't recognize at the time.

EVEN WHEN I WASN'T DRINKING, I WAS THINKING ABOUT DRINKING!

Planning the next time I would go out. Looking forward to the weekend. Thinking about where I would go, who I would be with, and when I could drink again.

My thoughts revolved around alcohol, even during the days I wasn't touching it.

I DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE A DRINK IN MY HAND FOR ALCOHOL TO BE TAKING UP SPACE IN MY MIND.

And that is something I wish I had understood much sooner.

Because I thought alcoholism was only about how much or how often someone drank.

I didn't recognize how much of my thinking, planning, and anticipation had become centered around alcohol.

The drinking. The consequences. The promises to stop. The temporary sobriety. The anticipation of drinking again.

A VICIOUS CYCLE THAT KEPT ME STUCK FOR TEN YEARS.

And the frightening part was how gradually it happened.

What I once called social drinking had become something that was interfering with my responsibilities, my integrity, my relationships, and ultimately, my freedom.

I WAS LOSING CONTROL OF MY LIFE LONG BEFORE I WAS WILLING TO ADMIT I WAS POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL.

For TEN YEARS, I went in and out of sobriety, putting alcohol down like somebody going on a diet.

Thirty days. Sixty days. Ninety days.

I'd stop drinking, feel better, lose the hangovers, and convince myself I was doing great!

I thought I was detoxing, giving my body a break, and somehow resetting everything.

But what I wasn't asking myself was WHAT EXACTLY WAS I DOING TO MY BODY WITH ALL THIS YO-YO DRINKING?

And more importantly, what was I doing about the alcoholism itself?

Because alcoholism is PROGRESSIVE.

I could put the bottle down temporarily, but I wasn't addressing the obsession, the behaviors, the fears, or the thinking that kept bringing me back.

And every time I picked up again, it felt like I started EXACTLY where I left off!

I WAS INTERRUPTING MY DRINKING, NOT CHANGING MY LIFE.

That's why I created THE WILLING WOMAN, a 13-week, Big Book-centered sponsorship journey.

I'm a low maintenance sponsor, but I'm NOT a low commitment sponsor.

I don't want women dependent on me. I want them to discover their own strength, develop their own spiritual foundation, and build a life of recovery that doesn't revolve around their sponsor.

When I began doing the work, I found that I needed my sponsor's guidance most during those first nine months. By then, I was sponsoring other women and had built my own circle of women in recovery.

THAT IS WHAT I WANT FOR THE WOMEN I SPONSOR!

I want them to develop discipline, practice spiritual principles, take accountability for their lives, build meaningful sober friendships, and establish a relationship with a Higher Power of their own understanding.

Because eventually, you have to learn how to stand on your own spiritual foundation.

YOU NEED THAT FOUNDATION!

We work the Steps. We do the assignments.

We move through the Steps with purpose and accountability. After our first week, we generally work one Step per week, with additional time for the inventory work. We do not sit on Steps indefinitely or use delay as another way to avoid the work.

I understand that some Steps require more time, and I respect genuine circumstances that call for it. But if you're unwilling to make the commitment, complete your assignments, or take the necessary action, you will need to find another sponsor whose approach better suits you.

I cannot want your recovery more than you do.

WILLINGNESS IS NOT JUST SOMETHING WE TALK ABOUT. IT'S SOMETHING WE PRACTICE.

We practice Upon Awakening and When We Retire DAILY. And we prepare to carry the message to another woman.

Because recovery isn't something I can hand you.

I can walk beside you, but I cannot do the work for you.

I spent TEN YEARS learning that putting down alcohol wasn't enough.

Ten years of stopping and starting. Ten years of convincing myself that because I could go without alcohol for 30, 60, or 90 days, somehow I had control over a disease that was quietly progressing.

I was giving my body temporary relief while doing very little to change the thinking and behaviors that kept taking me back to the bottle.

I WAS SOBER FOR PERIODS OF TIME, BUT I WASN'T RECOVERING.

Because the real work wasn't simply learning how to live without alcohol. It was learning how to live with MYSELF.

My fears. My resentments. My dishonesty. My need to control. My self-will. My lack of discipline. My inability to sit with uncomfortable emotions without wanting to escape them.

And here's something else I had to recognize.

JUST BECAUSE I STOPPED DRINKING DIDN'T MEAN I STOPPED NUMBING MYSELF.

There are so many other ways to escape ourselves without ever picking up a drink.

For me, one of the biggest was staying BUSY.

Working. Producing. Accomplishing. Taking care of everyone and everything. Filling every available moment with something that needed to be done.

Because as long as I was busy, I didn't have to sit still long enough to FEEL.

And the irony?

I COULD BE BUSY ALL DAY AND STILL AVOID THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK OF ALL. MY INNER WORK.

It's easy to confuse productivity with progress. To convince ourselves we're doing wonderful because we're accomplishing so much, while the fears, resentments, wounds, and behaviors that need our attention remain untouched.

I had to ask myself, AM I REALLY GROWING, OR AM I JUST FINDING MORE ACCEPTABLE WAYS TO ESCAPE MYSELF?

And perhaps the hardest realization of all?

I WAS STILL LOOKING FOR RELIEF INSTEAD OF SEEKING CHANGE.

I wanted the benefits of recovery without fully surrendering to the work it required.

Until I became willing to examine myself, take responsibility for my behaviors, practice spiritual principles, and develop discipline even when I didn't feel like it, I remained vulnerable to repeating the same cycle.

Today I understand that putting down alcohol gave me the opportunity to recover.

BUT WILLINGNESS, HONESTY, DISCIPLINE, AND ACTION ARE WHAT HELP ME STAY IN RECOVERY.

And that's what I want to teach the women who ask me to sponsor them.

Not simply how to stop drinking.

HOW TO STOP RETURNING TO THE LIFE THAT MADE DRINKING FEEL LIKE THE ANSWER. ❤️

And today, I don't just want women sober.

I WANT WOMEN HAPPY, JOYOUS, FREE, AND WILLING! ❤️

TO THE WOMAN WHO IS SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED...

To the woman who keeps starting over. Who has collected sobriety dates, made promises to herself, cried herself to sleep, and wondered why she keeps returning to the very thing that's destroying her.

To the woman who is sober but still feels STUCK.

I SEE YOU. BECAUSE I WAS YOU.

Alcohol kept me stuck in that cycle for TEN YEARS. Ten years I cannot get back. But those years taught me something I can give away today.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND ANOTHER TEN YEARS DOING WHAT I DID.

If you're ready to stop going in circles, if you're tired of merely surviving, and if you're willing to do the work, I would love to walk beside you.

You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to be perfect. You don't even need to know HOW you're going to change.

YOU JUST NEED THE DESIRE AND THE WILLINGNESS TO BEGIN.

Let me help you get UNSTUCK.

Not by doing the work for you, but by showing you the path that helped me find freedom.

Because there is a beautiful life waiting beyond the bottle, beyond the fear, beyond the constant starting over.

And you deserve the opportunity to discover it.

THE WILLING WOMAN IS FOR THE WOMAN WHO IS FINALLY READY TO CHOOSE RECOVERY AND DO THE WORK TO KEEP IT.

If that's you, reach out to me. Let's talk. ❤️

With love, accountability, and service,

Michelle Ann
The Healing Cheff
She Chose Herself 2012

Recover. Reinvent. Rise. 🦅

#TheWillingWoman #RecoverReinventRise #WomenInRecovery #12Steps #TheHealingCheff