✨ THE HOLE IN YOUR HEART WAS NEVER MEANT FOR THE WORLD TO FILL ✨

✨ THE HOLE IN YOUR HEART WAS NEVER MEANT FOR THE WORLD TO FILL ✨

For most of my life, I thought the answer was out there somewhere.

I believed that if I could just find the right person, make a little more money, lose the weight, buy the house, get the promotion, receive the recognition, earn another certificate, win another award, or finally be understood, then I would feel whole. Then I would feel content. Then I would finally be okay.

But what I have learned is that there is a hole in the human heart that nothing in this world can permanently fill.

Not relationships.

Not food.

Not alcohol.

Not drugs.

Not shopping.

Not sex.

Not achievement.

Not status.

Not followers.

Not compliments.

Not even the people we love most.

Because when we try to fill a spiritual void with earthly things, we eventually discover that no matter how much we get, it is never enough.

We may feel relief for a moment. The new relationship feels exciting. The purchase gives us a temporary high. The attention feels good. The accomplishment makes us proud. But eventually the feeling fades, and we find ourselves searching again. Looking for the next thing, the next achievement, the next person, the next experience, hoping that this one will finally be enough.

I don't believe this is just an alcoholic problem.

I believe this is a human problem.

As an alcoholic, however, I can see this tendency in myself very clearly.

Long before I understood alcoholism, I thought my problem was alcohol. Today I know alcohol was only a symptom of something much deeper. At the core, I was restless, irritable, and discontent. I was constantly looking for something outside of myself to make me feel okay inside. I was always chasing the next thing, the next achievement, the next relationship, the next accomplishment, the next experience, believing that somehow it would finally bring me peace.

The problem was that nothing ever did.

No matter what I accomplished, it wasn't enough.

No matter what I owned, it wasn't enough.

No matter how much love I received, it wasn't enough.

No matter how much validation I got, it wasn't enough.

Because the disease always whispered the same lie:

"You need more."

Thank God AA is vastly more than a way to stop drinking.

It gave me a design for living, a spiritual solution, a fellowship, and a relationship with God.

The Twelve Steps didn't just help me put down alcohol. They transformed the way I think, live, love, and show up in the world.

They taught me:

• Honesty when I wanted to hide.

• Humility when I wanted control.

• Faith when I was afraid.

• Acceptance when I wanted to fight reality.

• Service when I wanted to focus on myself.

• Connection when I felt alone.

Most importantly, they taught me that the hole I was trying to fill with people, achievements, validation, accomplishments, and alcohol was never meant to be filled by the world in the first place.

It was meant to be filled by God.

That is the miracle I have found in recovery.

Not just freedom from alcohol.

Freedom from the constant belief that happiness is somewhere else.

After all, I thought that was what "having it all" meant. I thought success meant continually striving for more.

• More money.
• More accomplishments.
• More recognition.
• More possessions.
• More experiences.
• More love.
• More attention.
• More security.
• More certainty.
• More of everything.

That was the message I absorbed from the world. Keep climbing. Keep achieving. Keep acquiring. Keep proving. Keep chasing. And if you're still restless, work harder. If you're still unhappy, get more. If you're still searching, keep looking.

The problem was that every time I reached a goal, there was another mountain waiting. Every time I got what I wanted, the satisfaction was temporary. There was always a next thing, a bigger thing, a better thing, a newer thing. Eventually I realized that the finish line kept moving.

The world teaches us that contentment lives somewhere in the future. But true contentment has never been found in having everything.

Because if that were true:

• The wealthiest people would all be at peace.

• The most successful people would never struggle.

• The most beautiful people would never feel insecure.

• The people with the most followers would never feel lonely.

Yet we see every day that none of those things guarantee peace.

Looking back, I wasn't really searching for more money, more success, more recognition, or even more love. I was searching for peace. I was searching for contentment. I was searching for something to quiet the ache inside of me.

The problem was that I didn't know where to look, so I looked everywhere. I looked to people, relationships, accomplishments, achievements, food, approval, validation, attention, and anything else that promised relief. The truth is that I wasn't really chasing those things. I was chasing the feeling I hoped those things would give me.

I wanted to feel safe.

I wanted to feel loved.

I wanted to feel enough.

I wanted to feel whole.

Many of us walk through life carrying a deep ache inside. A longing to feel loved. A longing to feel safe. A longing to feel valuable. A longing to feel enough. Because we don't understand the source of that ache, we spend years searching outside ourselves for the answer.

We look to people to complete us.

We look to relationships to heal us.

We look to accomplishments to validate us.

We look to possessions to define us.

We look to the world to give us what only God can provide.

What I eventually discovered was that the hole wasn't asking to be filled with more of the world. It was asking to be filled with God.

Maybe the answer isn't getting more.

Maybe the answer is connecting deeper.

Maybe the hole in our hearts isn't asking for another person, another achievement, another possession, another promotion, another certificate, another award, another compliment, or another accomplishment.

Maybe it's asking for a relationship with the very One who created it.

Because there is a God-sized hole in every human heart, and nothing in this world is big enough to fill it. Not permanently. Not completely. Not the way He can.

And then one day we discover something beautiful.

The peace we were searching for was never found in getting more. It was found in surrender. It was found in connection with a Power greater than ourselves. It was found in God.

Because when I am spiritually connected, something changes inside of me. That restless, irritable, and discontent feeling that followed me for years begins to lose its grip. The craving quiets. The fear softens. The restlessness settles. The constant search stops. The need for more loses its grip.

I become content.

Not because my life is perfect.

Not because I got everything I wanted.

Not because everyone is behaving the way I think they should.

But because my heart is finally connected to the Source it was created for.

I still have goals. I still have dreams. I still have things I am working toward. But I no longer believe those things will complete me.

They are blessings.

They are not my source.

My source is God.

The closer I stay to Him, the less I need the world to fill what only He was ever designed to fill.

What I was really searching for wasn't more.

I was searching for enough.

And I have discovered that "enough" is not found in what I possess. It is found in what possesses my heart.

When my heart is connected to God, I can sit in gratitude for what I already have. I can enjoy blessings without worshipping them. I can pursue goals without believing they will save me. I can love people without expecting them to complete me. I can appreciate what is coming without despising where I am.

For me, that is where contentment lives.

Not in getting everything I want.

But in realizing that with God, I already have everything I truly need. ❤️🙏🏼

Michelle Ann

✨ She Chose Herself 2012
✨ The Healing Cheff®

Healing Hearts. Restoring Hope. Transforming Lives.

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