LOVE DOES NOT DIMINISH YOUR VALUE

I was watching Like Water for Chocolate, and one scene stopped me completely.

The main character confesses to her fiancé that while he was away, she slept with another man. She does not tell him it was Pedro, the man she believed was her true love who had married her sister, but he is wise enough to know. She tells him she is confused because she loves them both.

Her fiancé pauses. He takes in the painful truth, then follows her and tells her:

“I love you no matter what. And this is forever. I will not judge you based on your past. I value you. I love you. And should you decide I am not the one and you choose Pedro, I will be the first to congratulate him for getting your hand in marriage.”

That is love.

 

Not because he ignored what happened. Not because he did not feel hurt. But because even in his pain, he did not humiliate her, shame her, threaten her, or try to destroy her sense of worth.

His love was evident through his actions.

 

He did not call her damaged goods. He did not tell her that her mistakes had made her worthless. He did not say that without him she was nothing. He did not use her past as a weapon to control her future. He simply reminded her that her humanity had not erased her value.

 

That scene touched something deep within me because women have told me what it feels like to have a man say they are worthless without him. I have listened to women describe what it feels like to have their poor decisions held over their heads while his own choices are minimized or forgotten.

 

But that is not love. That is punishment. That is possession. That is someone trying to make a woman feel so small that she becomes afraid to live without him.

 

Real love does not require a woman to believe she is ruined so that a man can feel needed.

Real love can be wounded and still remain respectful. It can tell the truth without becoming cruel. It can grieve without degrading. It can hold someone accountable without stripping away their dignity.

 

She ultimately married this man and remained married to him for twenty two years. Perhaps it was because he gave her something rare: the freedom to choose him without fear.

He did not have to break her in order to keep her.

 

That is the kind of love women deserve.

A love that says, “I see your past. I see your mistakes. I see your confusion. And I still see a woman of value.”

 

Because love that is real does not make you prove your worth.

It reminds you that you never lost it

 

P.S. This movie was so good and had so much depth. It also reminded me of the love I pour into my food and how my energy transfers to the people who receive it. That is why the spirit and intention behind everything I prepare are so crucial. Food carries energy, and people can taste when it is made with love.