More Than a Cross ✝️

Today, someone commented that the cross I wear was a contradiction to where I was and what I was doing. Truthfully, this isn't the first time I've heard something like that. It's been mentioned before, and instead of becoming defensive, I chose to sit with it. I wanted to honestly ask myself, "Is there something I need to understand here?"

In fact, just last week, a woman from another faith shared her opinion that I should remove my cross because, in her view, Jesus wouldn't want people happily wearing a symbol of His crucifixion. I remember thinking, my goodness... Here were two completely different people, from two completely different perspectives, both telling me what my cross should or shouldn't mean.

The cross I wear is deeply personal. It isn't a fashion statement, and it certainly isn't a symbol that says I'm better than anyone else. It reminds me of my mother. It reminds me of my Creator. It reminds me of the grace, mercy, and love that have carried me through some of the darkest seasons of my life. When I wear it, I'm not making a statement about anyone else's beliefs. I'm remembering my own journey.

What I began to realize is that many people aren't reacting to the cross itself. They're reacting to what they believe the cross represents. For some, it represents judgment because they've experienced judgment. For others, it reminds them of religious trauma, rejection, or being told they weren't enough. Others may have sincere theological reasons for seeing it differently. Those experiences and beliefs are real, and I don't dismiss them.

But I also hope people will allow me the same grace they hope to receive.

Before deciding who I am because of the cross around my neck, get to know my heart.

Sit with me.

Have a conversation with me.

Watch how I treat people.

See whether I lead with love or condemnation.

The more I reflected, the more I realized this message is actually much bigger than a cross. It's about the danger of assumptions. We all make them. We see a cross, tattoos, piercings, a hijab, a rainbow flag, or someone's appearance, and our minds can immediately begin writing a story about who they are. We often decide what they believe, how they live, what they stand for, and even whether they're safe to be around before we've ever spoken a single word to them.

I know I've been judged because of my past. Because I was an alcoholic. Because of my tattoos. Because I'm going through a divorce. Because of my recovery. Because I'm a woman who speaks openly about hard things. I've learned how painful it is when people create a story about you without ever taking the time to know you.

So I don't want to do that to anyone else.

My faith has never called me to think I'm above anyone. If anything, it has taught me just how much grace I have needed in my own life. Recovery has humbled me. Sobriety has shown me my own defects, my own mistakes, and my own need for healing. I have no stones to throw because I know what it feels like to need compassion instead of criticism.

One of the greatest gifts recovery has given me is the ability to sit beside people from every walk of life. I've sat with people of different faiths, different cultures, different political views, different lifestyles, and different life experiences. I don't need someone to believe exactly as I do in order to love them, encourage them, or walk alongside them. We can disagree on many things and still treat each other with dignity and respect.

If you've ever felt judged by religion, I'm truly sorry for what you've experienced. No one should be made to feel unloved, unworthy, or beyond hope. At the same time, I hope we can also be careful not to assume that every person wearing a cross carries the same heart, just as not every tattoo tells the same story, not every rainbow flag represents the same journey, and not every person fits the assumptions we place upon them.

Just as I don't want to be judged by my appearance, my tattoos, my past, my recovery, or my story, I hope not to be judged simply because I wear a cross.

Instead, let's pause long enough to let people show us who they are.

Let's listen before we label.

Let's ask before we assume.

Let's choose curiosity over conclusions.

And let's remember that a person's character is revealed far more by the way they love than by the symbols they wear.

If you leave a conversation with me feeling heard, respected, encouraged, and loved, then I've accomplished far more than anything around my neck ever could.

That's the woman I strive to be.

🤍 Michelle Ann

SheChoseHerself2012
TheHealingCheff.com